Curing Mental Constipation

I have a dear friend, an Englishman-talk-show-host-cartoonist-yoga-teacher, whose sense of humor and sensibility feel like Deepak Chopra talking through Monty Python.  In his own, delightful way, this friend made me laugh out loud on a conference call recently by telling me that he was working to release his "mental constipation." He had found himself so far in contemplation that he was having trouble deciding on a direction.  He knew I would understand, as a fellow contemplator and seeker, always thinking that "there might be a better, more beautiful, more integral way" to live.  Contemplation sometimes leads to thoughtful solutions and insight.  But more often than not, if it is not held wisely, contemplation turns into racing thoughts that can overload us, resulting in the plugging up of all our higher capacities.  It turns out that this is an expected stage in the development of a spiritual seeker, but knowing that makes it only slightly less unpleasant to be stuck in.

Mental constipation.  What a perfect image for slightly mistaken interpretation of what meditation is supposed to do for us.  We've been told we're supposed to slow down, let thoughts go, and tune into spirit.  We are supposed to BE, not to DO, and for the vast majority of people, this is the right prescription.  We ache for that little bit of peace and space inside our brains.  However, if we end up, instead, with a brain crammed with ideas and vague fears, we feel cheated, as though we signed up for an advanced course in insight that turned out to be a dud.  Or we assume that we're "doing meditation wrong,"  that somehow real meditation is supposed to clear our mind and give us right answers.  Being stuck with mental constipation, we may feel even more cut off from a sense of purpose than when we started on our path.  

Don't get me wrong.  I am a huge believer in bringing contemplation into our lives, where the speed of consumption and communication seem to be catching up to the speed of lightning.  It's just that we've jumped in--hook, line, and sinker, into the language of meditation and mindfulness (How many times a day do you see a commercial product called Om-this, Zen-that?) without a lot of training in the actual practice and its unfolding stages.  

Although meditation can be simple, it is valuable to have a road map, a guide to help with whatever comes up because it turns out that having a powerful intellect can make the experience worse, until, that is, we have a little practical instruction.  In the end, although some may disagree with me on this, I believe the human intellect may be the most powerful agent of all in transforming our lives.  The brain is informed by the heart, which acts as an organ of neuro-hormonal-electrical wisdom, sending signals upward regarding our surroundings, our emotional and intuitive responses, and our physical state of being.  It turns out that research has shown that heart responds to the environment by producing hormones and electrical signals that travel to the brain and are "interpreted" there.  Through cognitive work, our brain's analysis can help us see how and why we are stuck, and then we can practice changing our behaviors. But before we can get to using our brain-heart loop  in transforming our understanding of life, self and universe, there are some layers of learning to traverse. Until we learn to use our emotional-analytical capacities wisely...

There we are, sitting on our cushion--or subway seat, trying to be mindful about a current issue in our life, when, a fear or bad memory comes up, and in no time at all, we find ourselves with a thousand reasonable (and unreasonable) thoughts circling round in a loop of obsessive, internal ruminations.   Instead of contemplating wisely, we get overwhelmed.  We are yanked into a paralyzing web that takes us further and further from clarity. Our mind gets wrapped up tight and voila...a full-on bout of Mental Constipation!  It's a phenomenon just as painful and literally unproductive as the intestinal variety.  We wonder...."How did this happen?  I was taking time out for clarity. Is this meditation really even good for me? Maybe I should try hypnosis.  Or a massage. Or a mental laxative, like a drink."

Happily, mental constipation can be resolved once you dissolve a misperception about the meaning of leading a "spiritual life."  People fairly new to the spiritual path often view meditation as a way to cultivate perfect responses to life and all its challenges.  They think they'll run away, far up onto the mountain top, where they can sit...for years...and figure it all out...and then maybe, once they are clear and impervious to live's rudeness and disappointments, they'll return to exercise their wisdom and compassion.  Or, if they are realistic enough to know they can't run away, they are still looking for meditation to magically and thoroughly transform them, turning them into someone who always knows the right thing to do. (Okay, we all probably want THIS, too, but here is where you can correct a misperception that may be holding you back.)

It turns out that meditation isn't about smoothing life out at all.  In fact, the bad news is that meditation might actually make life more complicated for you--at least for a while.  You see more, feel more, notice more...and not all of it is pretty.  This goes on as we look at ourselves and at our world, and for a sensitive, contemplative person, who is already prone to looking at life's interconnectedness, it can be highly discouraging.  "If there is all this ugliness in me, all of these endless problems, and all of this tension between people, then how can I ever address it all? How can my one, little offering make a difference.  How will I ever be enough?"  Strangely, this feeling is often all-consuming in people who, by others' accounts, are highly gifted, talented folks who should have a lot to offer.  It's just that all that kindness, insight, sensitivity and intelligence is wound up in a bunch of "what if's", self-doubt, and doubt about the goodness of the world.  In these people, the desire to do good continually meets with the "reality" that "we'll never be able to fix it all and make it beautiful," and eventually, as with all chronic fights, energy is spent, and a kind of depression and mental fog sets in...and nothing looks clear at all.

And so they shut down a little--or a lot, and meditating can, sometimes, take such a person to a place of complete overwhelm.  

But it doesn't have to be that way.  In fact, one of meditation's deepest lessons is about the importance of the "good enough" beginning.  This is the tiny seed that, when planted, watered, and tended, grows into a garden of kindness, bouquets of caring and useful deeds--ways that one life can touch another.  This is how most change happens.  It is how water shapes the rock and how attention shapes the mind and how small doses of love shape a life.  

For people who wilt into overwhelm, this is the most important lesson of all.  We simply must begin and trust that the little seed is enough. After reflection, we must choose a way and get started.  We must take a tiny, but real step into life...and act on our intentions.  Of course we are allowed and encouraged to gather feedback and adjust, but begin we must.  It is the only way we can survive, really, as the alternative is to suffocate under our fears and questions.  While our bold and driven neighbors may well need to spend some time in the garden of reflection, sensitive types must learn to let meditation bring them out of hiding and into the world.  

I have found that it's even possible to find healing in taking some action whose importance or genuineness we aren't yet convinced of.  I am not big on clichés, but if you can take the cliche to the higher level, finding its actual truth rather than only its flimsy, plastic wrapping, you can "smile your way to a new feeling."  Not only is this neurologically, hormonally, and behavioristically true, it is actually testable in your life.  I do not mean pasting on some fake grin and doling out frothy truisms you don't mean.  Rather, you can actually sit down and say, "How would I handle this if I felt brave, noble, and grateful for all I have?"  "How would I handle this if I were expressing my inner, wise grandmother?"  "How would I go after this job if I believed that I were really a talented and capable (artist, or lawyer or teacher)?"

Recently I had a chance to see how simply committing to studying for one day allowed me to get beyond the fear I had of having to renew my medical boards.  I had put it off, created reasons to avoid it...on and on.  But finally, I made a pact with myself to study for one day, eight hours in sum, and somehow, in that first, small step, the whole things started to look not only possible but really worthwhile.  (I also did a little shaking and dancing exercise to create more "space" for wisdom in myself.  I'll blog about that in the future!)  Anyway, I began to look forward to making times to study, rather than fearing that my studying wouldn't be enough.  It is like that again and again in our lives, especially for those of use in whom "the perfect gets in the way of the good."  We have to remember that if we don't begin, then we can not give of ourselves, and the world misses out on the very kinds of qualities that we wish it had more of.  By holding ourselves back, hiding behind contemplation, we are not only not responding to the call of our psyche and soul, we are actually adding a bit of fear and mistrust to the world.  Without necessarily intending it, we are being selfish and short-sighted.  It is the little step which is the real act of compassion and trust.

So go out today and make a small promise to yourself to do something that brings something good and strong and kind in you out into the world.  Make it a little promise--something that you can do without calling up your sense of overwhelm.  And then...do it, and trust that it is enough for today.  If you do this everyday for the next twenty years, I promise you you'll be amazed at what has blossomed in your life.  

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THANKS FOR THE ARTICLE I THINK MORE OF NATURAL HERBS WILL BE OF HELP TO SOMEONE SUFFERING FROM MENTAL CONSTIPATION AND CONSTIPATION IN GENERAL U CAN VISIT http://www.tienseshop.com and http://www.tiensstore.net